Geordie Andy & Lindy's Wedding
Andy (not the Geordie one) wandered up the dreaded M6 on a lovely, sunny Saturday afternoon, and noisily rode up to mine. Where I wasn't quite ready. No surprise, if you know me, I work on a completely different time-scale/bodyclock than most. So he marvelled at our garden and chatted, whilst I got my shit together and dragged the bike out of the garage.
We set off for pastures North, mid-afternoon. The first part being a quick blast up to Penrith on the dreaded M6 again. Complete yawn. Apart from the last few miles, where the beauty of the Shap is mesmerising.
And I'd gone onto reserve.
So when we stopped at the junction as we pulled off the M6, I told Andy about my predicament. "No probs, there's a petrol station not far, en route". Except there wasn't. Apparently, in the last few years, both petrol stations that Andy knew, had been flattened. So I had to plow on, keeping the revs below about 5K, to make the most of the fuel.
And I was rather glad I was behaving when we hit the Hartside Pass. What a road!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's only when you've had a couple of 'moments' that you realise why so many folk have binned it up there!
It all looks very tame when you first start to chuck it into the lovely bends. Then a coupla times, you discover a bend tightens up on you, making you a bit more alert. It's only when you've had a couple of 'moments' that you realise why so many folk have binned it up there!
One of my 'moments', was the nearest I've come to binning the Gixer in the last ten years! To be perfectly honest, I have no idea how the thing remained sticky side down...I was coming out of a tight right-hander, I opened the throttle a little too enthusiastic, and the front wheel climbed into the air. Not normally a bad thing, but I was still leant over on the curve! Somehow the bike sorted itself out, the front wheel came back down, just in time for me to sling it over onto the left side for the next tight left-hander! Sphincter successfully tightened, I was a bit more careful with the throttle after that.
After an awesome ride (despite supposedly taking it easy on the throttle!!!) we got to Alston, where I could fill up. Never knew I could get so far on a tank of juice/reserve. Then the awesome ride continued still further, through fabulous countryside, all the way into Geordie-land and across to the village of Wark, where the festivities were to begin.
But the festivities had already started when we got there - we found Mitch was off his face and tittering a lot - so after a drink at the local pub, we wandered round to the Social Club, where we hastily erected base camp and tried to catch up.
And it was a bloody great night! Late evening sun, sat around chilling, catching up with old friends, making new ones. Drinking. Watching the unbelievable talent on the dancefloor, whilst The Bandits kicked out three great R&B sets. And I mean proper R&B, not the modern, usurped-titled, shite. Brilliant!
I was gonna wander back over Hartside Pass and enjoy the view again. But it didn't quite happen like that.
Early doors Sunday, Andy and I packed up our tents and set off. Andy was in a bit of a rush to get home, so chose to take a different route to me...I was gonna wander back over Hartside Pass and enjoy the view again. But it didn't quite happen like that.
I could see storm clouds gathering as I wound my way South-West, but before I could get over the Pass, the rain got me. And the wind. Galeforce winds. And fog! I could only see about 20 yards in front of me, so was riding like a grandma! I started to think I was still pissed from the night's entertainment, but soon realised it was just the shitiest weather knocking me off balance, as I crawled up the hill. I saw what looked like a bit of a lay-by, so started to pull in to clean my visor/specs, but suddenly realised it was the car park for the Hartside Cafe! You just couldn't see the cafe from the road!!!
And worse was to come.
After a couple of shivering ciggies, I got back on the bike, knowing that I would ride out of the fog, as I got lower. But I didn't know I'd be riding into torrential rain! I was just SO relieved when I got to Penrith - filled up again (not stupid, me) - and reluctantly joined the dreaded M6 heading South. And the rain just got worse. And worse. Signs over the carriageway said 40mph and you couldn't do much more, safely.
By now I was soaked to the skin, cold, pissed off...then I could no longer see through my visor/specs again, so stopped under a motorway bridge to clean my visor/specs. Utterly useless. Way too much water, so I paddled on, to Killington Lake Services. I stood just inside the front doors and started to remove my helmet/gloves. Within moments I had a huge puddle around me. I shit you not, it must have been about 4 foot diameter! It looked like I had opened taps, hidden up my sleeves, the water was coming out that fast!
Many, many humerous folk mentioned I'd chosen the wrong day to ride a bike. Twats. :-)
I waddled to the coffee shop, where I met a dude who'd parked his BMW Z4 cos he couldn't see out of it, and started chatting. He couldn't believe I could see where I was going on the motorway. Somehow he wasn't surprised when I admitted that I couldn't see shit, so HAD to stop. Just as I was about to order a coffee, I realised just how expensive that shit is at Motorway Services - I didn't have enough cash left! I'd drunk all my money, the night before! Thankfully, my new friend and his missus insisted on buying me a coffee, so that was a great relief! And I left another huge puddle in front of the coffeeshop counter. I didn't dare join my new friends at lovely, upholstered chairs in my wet state, so slunk outside again, to have another damp ciggie. And watch the waves of water lashing horizontally across the Services' parking area. Many, many humerous folk mentioned I'd chosen the wrong day to ride a bike. Twats. :-) By this point, I didn't give a toss, I couldn't get any wetter, so just hoped the wind/rain would ease...just a little!
It didn't.
The weather finally got to be a little better by Forton Services, where I stopped to clean my visor/specs again! After another 20 miles or so, the sun came out, too! So I road like a man possessed, to get home and get out of my very cold, very wet clothes. All of them! (It subsequently took three or four days for my boots/gloves to dry out!). I had a nice warm shower and crashed on the sofa and fell asleep.
What a cracking 24 hours! Can't wait to do that ride again - but hopefully in better weather...
Salutation MCC wish Geordie Andy and Lindy all the very best for a long and happy future together. They are both fantastic peeps and we look forward to partying with them again soon.
Wigan Paul
P.S. Andy had a cracking ride home in glorious sunshine. Lucky twat.
And then...
